is this really all?

I find myself asking myself this question a lot lately. It's a daily cry. A reliance. A desire.

Is this really all? This can't be all there is.

Wake up. Get ready. Go to work. Go to the gym. Meet up with someone. Eat dinner. Relax. Read/pray. Sleep.

It's a daily cycle. A monotonous one. One that I remember writing about and dwelling on many times. Quiet monotony.

Isn't this the ' that I asked for? The ' that we Americans seek?

As I reflect on what ' is and what it means to live fully, I find myself unsatisfied by this cycle. Asking God, “is this all You will use me for?”

In this season of waiting. This season of cycles. This season of quiet monotony. I pray that I do not succumb to the cycles but still seek You daily.

How many years did Abraham wait for Isaac? The Israelites to the promised land? David to his appointment as king?

In the wilderness, in the waiting. May my reliance and my dependence grow deeper in You.

Why does ' feel so empty? Why does there lack purpose?

As I wait in this season, may I remember that this isn't all. There's so much more to come. He desires my obedience, waiting, and growth.

So cling to Him. Seek after Him. Draw near to Him.

To the day that He calls your name, be faithful in stewarding them all.